Adapt to Thrive

The universe has a funny way of getting our attention. Not so much in a ‘funny, haha’ way, but in the comedic sense of having your boob clamped in a mammogram machine, unable to move or look away from the sign placed right in front of your face. As the words slowly registered in my anxious mind, and I knew it was the universe speaking the truth. 

My nerves were already on edge after passing the hospital emergency room on my way to the Women's Diagnostic Center. During the mammogram, memories stirred up from five years ago when I bled at ten weeks pregnant. I spent hours in that ER, anxiously awaiting news, only to be told I had a ‘50/50 chance of miscarrying.’ Immobilized by fear, I spent weeks on bed rest, terrified by my high-risk (geriatric) pregnancy due to my age, bleeding, and a pituitary tumor.  

That sign on the wall left me reflecting on where I’ve been, like the delivery room of that same hospital where I gave birth to my third child. I reflected on all the fears and obstacles I’ve had to confront to bring him into this world. In Hinduism and Buddhism, these obstacles are called Kleshas, the five afflictions that cloud our perception and cause “duhkha,” or pain.    

Duhkha, a fundamental truth, is the distress we all experience through physical, emotional, and psychological pain. The five kleshas, or causes of our suffering, are ignorance, ego, attachment, aversion, and fear. They are our mental states that prevent us from seeing the signs of truth right before our faces and teach us to heal by recognizing our afflictions. 

The words written on the Women’s Diagnostic Center wall shined like a lighthouse beacon as if to say, “You Are Here.” It took being clamped down into a mammogram machine to recognize Satya, the second Yama in the first limb of yoga, meaning truth or essence. I took a picture of the sign before I left and allowed it to reveal itself to me over the past few weeks. It’s shown me the difference between the pain caused by the Kleshas and the birthing pains of truth.          

T.K.V. Desikachar says in The Heart of Yoga, “How we behave toward others and our environment reveals our state of mind and our personalities. The knock at the door tells the character of the visitor.” (Desikachar, Pg. 175) The sign hanging on that wall was a gentle knock that grew louder as reality shined through, saying, “You will adapt to thrive if you nurture your roots with Satya.”

Truth thrives in its protective environments, like the lotus flower that grows through the mud to reach the morning light. Yoga Sutra 2.30 explains Satya as “right communication through speech, writings, gesture, and actions.”  When we face our vulnerable egos, forgive ignorance, not become overly attached to something meant to change, and face our fears, we can be sure we’re growing toward the light and not poisoned by our Kleshas. 

That sign reminded me of the fears I faced about having another baby. The months I spent trying to believe I didn’t want one caused me to become depressed, but the truth showed me that I suffered more from the lies than the risks. I knew the high-risk pregnancy would feel vulnerable, but even more, I knew it would help me evolve into the person I needed to become.

When I'm unsure which direction to turn and become immobilized by fear, I remember to ask these questions: Will this action place me in a vulnerable situation? Will this action help me evolve according to my beliefs? Are my beliefs still true? If they are still true, I scan the condition of my foundation, reinforce my supports, and keep moving forward.

Reflecting on that sign, I was reminded of who I am and what I stand for: the belief that we all deserve to dream, live fearlessly in the face of adversity, and access education, imagination, beauty, healing, and a bright future. The universe will keep showing us how to adapt to thrive and showing up to remind us to seek the truth and always to remember to “Be You.”